Thursday, August 21, 2008

I knew I had a brain tumor

While in Vegas last week, Hubs stopped into an Urban Outfitters (because it's the best store ever)to browse around. He stumbled into the book section and found a book that screamed, "Buy this for your wife!"

I could not believe a manual like this even exists, and yet, I feel better knowing there are people out there that share my exact same brain malfunction paranoia.


For real? This is my new Bible.

This book has it all. It's organized by body part, then provides a graphically detailed description of symptoms. After shocking the bejeezus out of you with pictures and graphs, it conclusively informs you of what ailment you are clearly suffering from.

Examples: Are you trembling today? You may think that you overestimated your coffee intake for the morning. But if you had this book, you would know that you potentially have encountered Mercury Poisoning!

What about your voice? Is it a bit hoarse? You could have Hashimoto's Thyroiditis! Get yourself to an Endocrinologist, as the suffering level on this bad boy is a 3 out of 4. And you could die.

As a forewarning, this book has some icky graphic cartoons and isn't best if you have a weak stomach.

(Which, by the way, means you're suffering from Cholera)

My advice is to skip the pictures and just focus on the written word.

The best part about this book is the tidbits of information you'd never know otherwise. Now you can look smart and crazy at the exact same time!

For example, did you know that the common office desk has 400 times more bacteria than a toilet seat? If that doesn't make you want to run to Sam's and buy mass quantities of Purell, you are beyond my help.

The thing is, the book is obviously satirical. As is everything at Urban Outfitters. It's a conversation piece, if you will.

I however, want a copy for my car, bedroom, parent's house and I'm considering over-nighting one to my doctor. They can't be expected to remember everything they learned in medical school. This book could save a life! You can buy it here.

2 comments:

Rachel said...

You are D-lightful...probably some special disease that makes you that way...

antisdel said...

Haha, maybe! I'll have to search the book to figure out what that might be!