Tuesday, August 26, 2008

personal ad

I snapped a phone pic of this ridiculous truck on I-70 today. It says: "Redneck in 'Da Hood. I Got Her Done."


SRNM* with big red truck and even redder neck seeks SRNF* or DSRNF*. Must be willing and able to cook frog legs. Ability to belch the alphabet not required, but preferred. I'm a lover of outdoor sports, so all NASCAR fans are welcome to apply. Extra points if you can hide Natty Light in your handbag when we go* to the races. Beer there is some kind of expensive.

Applicant must be able to recite works from the Father, Son and Holy Ghost (Jeff Foxworthy, Larry the Cable Guy and Ron White). You may be tested on our first date, so do some preparin' beforehand.

I'm a modern gentlemen and understand ladies these days need their independence. Our first and subsequent dates will therefore be dutch. If you prefer though, my Mama makes excellent fried chicken for free. Bein' as how she lives 'cross the street, it won't take much gas to get there. As you can see, I'm sensitive to the stressful economics of our time as well.

If you are interested in a quick look-see, please call 555-4833.
*SRNM- Single Red Neck Male
*SRNF- Single Red Neck Female
*DRNF- Divorced Red Neck Female
*Go- Win free tickets to

1 comment:

Judith said...

Oh...my...god...

You were obviously in or very very near Wyandotte, eh? :P This is a sad, yet classic, example of life among rednecks. Could go alongside the trucks with the fake 'balls' hanging off the trailor hitch--you know, the Ford or Chevy repleat with 'proud to be Union' bumper stickers....

Lord.