Wednesday, August 6, 2008

this little apple doesn't fall far from the tree

You can inherit many genes from your parents: eye color, height, weight - psychotic paranoia. The latter of these four I definitely got from my mama. Chicken Little ain't got nothin' on us Arnold/Antisdel women. The sky is falling? Whatever cheep cheep, for me and my mom, the whole galaxy is falling. In a new way every day. You just have to know where to look...

Some people see a helicopter flying overhead and think, "Cool, some rich guy is taking a cruise in his aircraft." Mom and I think, "Holy shit, a homicidal maniac is clearly loose somewhere in our neighborhood. They're doing a silent once-over first to secure the area and then the door-to-door searching will begin."

You may see the beautiful rolling hills in Kansas and marvel at its magnificence. Mommy and me see the perfect location for underground nuclear weapons, cleverly hidden less than a mile from our quiet homes. That explains the cheap property tax this year!!!

So you get the picture, and now you understand why the long-running joke in our family is that Mom and I should both constantly wear helmets. (I think it's a great idea, it will keep aliens from reading our thoughts. Take that, suckas!) Last night, I joined my Mom and Dad and some of their good friends for dinner, and they had a spectacular surprise for Mom. Great gift, Beth and Rollie. I want one, too! See the picture below...



Mom's new helmet, complete with optional bolts to tighten it down for when the paranoia really takes over.

1 comment:

Karina said...

I just randomly happened upon your blog. It's nice to know there are kindred crazies out there. haha