Thursday, September 4, 2008

baby fever cure

The hub and I met Bryan and Kristin for some Dairy Queen blizzards last night to catch up on life. Just FYI, Kristin is the cutest pregnant woman I have ever seen. She's all round tummy and cute boobs. No extra face fat, no wobbly Jell-O arms or cottage cheese thighs. I'd hate her if I didn't adore her.

We're all talking about the ever-closer baby arrival (sometime in December). Bryan was mostly focused on his lack of diaper changing abilities. Kristin and I pondered important stuff, like how much pain medication the hospital will allow before she's actually considered an addict.

As we all sat and talked, I couldn't help but notice how beautiful Kristin has become. I've always read about the "mama glow", and boy does she have it. The thing I love about Kristin is she doesn't constantly rub her belly or gush about the "blessed miracle" of her pregnancy. She's totally secure in herself and is surprisingly calm. The more I talk to her, the louder I hear it in my head. Tick tock tick tock tick tock. The biological clock is back. And the volume has been turned up.

After nearly two hours of conversation with our friends, I have decided my baby fever is fully back on. Brad insists it never left, reminding me that just the other night on the sofa I suddenly yelled at him, "I smell a baby on you! Were you around a baby today?" Of course, he had not been. I'm that insane.

So...anyway, today I'm at Target and hear "unnhhhhh...unnnhhhh...unnnhhhh." A baby! Kind of a cute wailing sound, except it literally sounds like a recording being played on repeat. The "unh" sounds for three seconds, stops for one second, and then starts again. I peek around the clothes rack to get a gander at the source of the noise. It's a little boy, maybe 1 year old, in his stroller trying to get Mom's attention. So not working. Baby keeps wailing. "unhhh....unhhhh....unnnhhhh." Mom ignores baby. Baby gets louder. And higher-pitched. I look around to see if anyone else's ears are bleeding.

Finally, Mom turns and looks down at baby, irritated. She then - I kid you not- reverts back to 3rd grade and begins to imitate the noise back at her child! Baby says "unhhh....unhhhh....unnnhhhh", Mom says "unhhh....unhhhh....unnnhhhh" right back. Baby is persistent and keeps going, so Mom begins singing along with baby in the same tone he is wailing. Two minutes later, in a moment straight out of The Infant Twilight Zone, ALL the babies in Target begin crying. At the same time.

In conclusion, baby fever is cured for today. If I never hear a sound like that again, it will be too soon.


erin said...

ha ha...that was probably me and Dakota at Target. I went through these same stages:
1. I wasn't ready for a baby yet.
2. I wanted to be pregnant, but not have a baby yet.
3. I wanted to be pregnant and was ready to have a baby. Just not birth the baby.
4. I was ready to have a baby, but not ready for the baby to grow up.
Then the freak out stages stop, because once you have a baby, there is no turning back, only ahead! :)

antisdel said...

You are the best mom ever...and you were fantastic all through your pregger-ness.