I have always considered myself a rather perceptive person. When I talk to friends and family, I am constantly analyzing what they're saying, what they truly mean deep in their souls and why they are the way they are.
(This analyzing side of me is just another facet of my rapidly growing paranoia, because I'm also often wondering if whomever I am speaking with actually hates me and is trying to cover it up.)
Because I categorize myself as perceptive, I also have always assumed that I am observant. The two seem to go hand in hand. However, last night I discovered that perceptively observant is, for me, a ship that sailed long ago.
At 6:00 last night, I drive over to Amanda's house. (She's yet another fab friend I met while in one of my first "big girl" jobs.) Amanda's hubs has been out of town on business for almost two weeks, and she is in need of girl time. I am, of course, more than happy to oblige. We dine on chips and guac and pasta.
(I never said Girl's Night meals made sense, only that they are delicious.)
We happily settle in her living room and watch Sex and the City The Movie. (Further fueling my desire to write a long list of successful books and novels.) It is fabulous fun. We eat, we laugh, we have a few glasses of wine.
At 8:58 I get a text from hubs wishing to know when I will be home. He is in bed, snuggled up and watching TV.
This is highly unusual, as Hubs is a bit of a night owl. If his eyes close much before 12:00, he either has a headache or I "inspired" him to go to bed early. (I'll leave it at that. My parents read this.)
He's in bed this early without me. He must really miss me, yes?
At 9:45, I hug and air smooch Amanda goodbye and head home. As expected, hubs is upstairs, tucked in bed watching a movie. I sit next to him and watch a few seconds of the movie, before getting into my PJ's and snuggling up next to him. But something feels....off. Something is different.
Hubs asks if I had a lot to drink or something.
I say no.
He asks if I would like to get up and turn on the fan.
I say no, I'm way too comfy.
We watch a few seconds of commercials together.
He asks again if I would like to turn on the fan.
I repeat that no, I will do it later for crying out loud don't you understand that I am super comfy at this moment and just wish to snuggle with you.
A little confused, I turn around on my back and watch whatever HGTV do-it-yourself show is on the television.
The really large television.
Our TV has grown in size and flattened out considerably. My 26" Magnavox tube television circa 1903 has vanished. I slowly manage to mumble out, "Waaaait a minute..."
Hubs explodes in laughter and it all finally makes sense. Obviously he went to bed early after craftily buying and installing this new 32" flat screen that we've been saving for. He assumed I would come in from Amanda's, lay next to him and immediately discover this new addition to our home. Obviously he failed to observe that my observation skill are shit.
In total, I had probably watched a good 6 minutes of the new TV with my own eyes before noticing anything different. No wonder hubs was curious about my drink count for the evening.
Needless to say, I have the greatest hubby in the world. I love that he totally surprised me with something that I've wanted for so long, and didn't even make me wait until Christmas.
(Maybe because he knew I would break down and buy it eventually, anyway. I'm impatient like that.)
In the end, every day is a chance for self discovery. Last night I discovered that a 9' aluminum Christmas tree could be placed in my bedroom with tiny elves dancing the Macarena around it, and I wouldn't notice a damn thing.
Oh well, I now have 32 inches worth of screen to make me forget all about it.