Thursday, November 20, 2008

the post about nothing

Guess where I am right now? No, really. Guess. You won't be right.

I am in my van. In a Kohl's parking lot. With my seat belt still on.


Surely there are several questions popping into your mind right now. I will answer them.

Why are you in a van? :

Because I'm in a city far from home making business calls, and I have an hour until my next appointment. Must. Kill. Time.

OH! You mean why are you in a van at ALL? :

Because vans are spacious and large and help me carry my 2,000 pounds of sales stuff. And because I bought it thinking it might eventually be considered cool to own a van. I was wrong.

And because Hubs won't let me trade it in for something new and expensive. Something about needing to be able to afford it and make the payments on time. Whatevs.

Oh well, it has a DVD player.

Whyexaclty are you choosing to blog in a Kohl's parking lot? :

Cuz I'm in an unfamiliar city, and Kohl's is like the American Embassy to me.

(Actually, I would prefer Chili's, but I can't find one right now.)
Why am I blogging with my seat belt still on? :
I think I have a disease. I am the type of person that gets so wrapped up in what I am doing, that everything else gets put on the back burner. For example, if I'm reading a killer book, I will literally forget to pee for like, 5 hours. Even when my bladder is screaming at me and my eyes start to turn yellow, I still have to FINISH THE CHAPTER.

(Or if I'm watching Real Housewives of Atlanta and the water is boiling on the stove for dinner, it just has to wait. Kim might try and sing again. Can't miss that.)

(PS- did you ever notice that Real Housewive's always have a housewife named Kim? I'm hoping this means when Real Housewive's of Kansas City comes to town, I'm first in line to be on TV and make a jackass out of myself. And get richie rich.)

So, all that being said, when I pulled into Kohl's a minute ago I was thinking of nothing but today's blog. I threw the van in park, killed the engine, grabbed my laptop and started typing. Seat belt be damned, I have important stuff to get in the blogosphere!


By the way, I am totally getting stared at by old ladies that are parking next to me. They look afraid. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. Imagine the thoughts that would roll through your head if you parked next to a girl sitting in her van with her seat belt on, frantically typing on her laptop and talking to herself.

(Did I mention I talk to myself? Well, I do. All the time. Me and I have had some great conversations over the years. Especially on road trips like today's.)

Moving on...

I guess I should maybe head into Kohl's now. I kind of feel like I'm loitering. And my hands are getting numb since I turned off the engine and it's only 33 degrees outside. And I left my coat at home.

Betcha Kohl's is having a sale on mittens and pea coats!!!

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