Tuesday, December 9, 2008

reason #212 to love being married


#212: Lots and Lots of Practice in Damage Control

(Last night, after work. Hubs enters front door.)

Hubs: Hey, babe.

Me: Hi, honey!

Hubs: So, I was kind of hurt by your blog today.

Me: (Acting shocked) Really?

Hubs: Yeah. It started really nice. I thought it was going to be about how I told you in the car that you looked super hot in your sunglasses and puffy jacket.

Me: (Wincing. He totally did do that. I am such a bitch.)

Hubs: And then I read the whole post.

Me: (inner monologue.) Shit.

Hubs: I'm okay with it, I just kind of think it makes me look bad.

Me: (looking for something to say that makes me look less like a jack ass.) I'm sorry! Everyone knows how great you are and that you always do nice things for me! I'll post a nice one about you tomorrow!

Hubs: (sighs) No, it's okay. I don't mind. I know it's just a blog. I'm here to provide material. I love you.

Me: (mentally adding the extra number of Christmas presents this damn blog is costing me.) I love you, too.

___________

So, based on last night, I feel compelled to share my awareness that 90% of the stories I post about Hubs make him totally sound selfish, unappreciative, ridiculous and stubborn. He is not any of those things.

(Except stubborn. He's like a donkey standing in molasses. I mean, seriously. We cannot have a Christmas wreath on the front door? But we can have Iowa State Cyclone twinkle lights lining the door frame instead? Whatever.)

(I am choosing not to talk about how stubborn I am. Let's just say my scenario would be a donkey nailed to the floor with his tail super-glued to the wall. And covered in molasses.)

Moving on...

My stories about Hubs really only showcase the way he acts about 3% of the time. Kind of like reality TV. The thing is, his actions during that small 3% of the time makes for AMAZING writing material. I just can't pass it up!

(And, let's face it. If I'm having writer's block about my own life stories, I'm going to default to the next best thing for inspiration. That's Hubs. It's in our pre-nup.)

(We don't actually have one. But if we did, I'd totally put in it: Husband allows wife to make fun of him on blog. Whenever she wants.)

In conclusion, let me remind you that Hubs is fantastic to me. Yes, I probably make him sound a little ridiculous at times, but it's all in good fun. Hubs is an amazing man, and he's seriously the one person that makes everything better in my life. Sooo, maybe in the future I'll try and be nicer.

If he lets me put up a Christmas wreath.

_________

And, you know, for the record, I say nice things about Hubs all the time.


4 comments:

Leah said...

My boyfriend says he doesn't read my blog (I think he's lying) because he wants me to have complete and total freedom over whatever I write. This was working out well until I started blogging about dieting and all of a sudden his lady friends who are now my friends accused him of calling me fat! He would never...poor guy. It's just something that men who love writers have to deal with I guess!

Lacey in the Sky said...

My boyfriend reads my blog... crazy stalker boy.(I kid!) Once... he says to me, "You know, I thought that text I sent was between you and I... not the entire blogging community." ... I say.."Oh COME ON! GIVE THE PEOPLE WHAT THEY WANT!" Tehehe, it totally worked.

rosiesmrtiepants said...

Matt reads my blog, and I find that if I word something right and mention something off-handedly, I can usually prompt him into thinking that he should be doing the dishes more often (or whatever it may be) and that it's his idea. Use it to your favor!

Courtney said...

Too funny. Love the previous post and this follow-up as well. While my husband doesn't regularly read my blog, he does on occasion (maybe once a week) and that keeps me in check...

Sometimes I want to relay something he said, but I don't want to hurt his feelings... like I'd love to share how he thought he was complimenting me when he told me he loved that I "was a slow reader" (what?? And for the record, I really am not. But he is the speediest reader I have ever met, so I think his opinion on reading-speed is completely skewed!) And thank you Kim, for now allowing that fact to come out here :)