Please disregard my fabulous news from yesterday. My lifelong dream of creating a Hallmark card is not going to happen after all. At least not this time.
No, Hallmark did not back out. (They're way too awesome for that.)
No, I did not back out. (As if I ever in a million years would!)
Something else happened that I did not ever think to even consider. I'm upset, I'm angry, I'm hurt and yes, I'm blogging about it.
It's times like these that I wish I had an anonymous blog so I could rant and rave about these things and get it off my chest without anyone being the wiser. Kind of like Tova and her blog.
I'm not going to go into all the details of what happened, mainly because I have to draw the line somewhere. I wouldn't want someone airing dirty laundry of mine. But...I think it's perfectly legit to say that I'm mad.
(I mean, I have no problem sharing when my Mom pisses me off, so why not other people?)
The thing is, this whole contest with Hallmark is like...my dream. When I was a kid, I wanted to do three things with my life.
1) Write a novel
2) Work for Hallmark cards
3) Become a gas station attendant
Number one on the list is very difficult to achieve, and requires a lot of time management. Which I suck at.
Number three is, let's be honest, just freaking ridiculous. Clearly.
Number two was probably even less likely to happen than number one, but this contest gave me an opportunity to at least say I did this great thing once upon a time.
And I could be really, really proud of myself.
(I don't get proud of me often, so it was a nice feeling.)
(While it lasted.)
So now I'm stuck with this sick feeling in my stomach. I had to email Hallmark this morning and withdraw my entry.
Last night as I lay in bed, totally unable to sleep, I started thinking.
Am I really going to let this get the best of me?
(I've asked myself this question in other situations, and sometimes the answer truly is "yes". There are some things I just cannot let go.)
But my answer to the question last night was "no." I can't let this setback set me back.
Out of all those contest entries, Hallmark picked me as one of their faves. That says something. I'm sure this isn't the last contest they'll ever have. I was funny enough to get my card selected this time, I can be funny again, yes?
Rejection happens. Sometimes when we least expect it, and for the dumbest reasons we could ever imagine. But it happens.
I am choosing not to let this ruin my week.
(Although yes, it did ruin my day yesterday.)
I am going to continue to enter contests with my "future employer" (that's called a self-fulfilling prophecy) and continue to do what I love to do. Write.
I'm still bummed, I'm still upset, but I will have to find a way to get over it. Dwelling is not going to make anything better. I was wronged, but I should probably get used to it. It will surely happen again someday in some other way.
So, my dear bloggies, you will not see my funny card this summer. It will remain locked in my brain and I will laugh at it in my head for years to come.
And no one can take that away from me.
PS- to all of you that left your comments on yesterday's post telling me that you would buy my card, thank you! You are all so awesome and I'm glad that you support me. Hopefully someday soon we can do it again.