Thursday, February 19, 2009

let it out

Sometimes I have those days.

That day when I keep telling myself it'll be okay, it'll get better and it'll all work out. I've just gotta keep my head above water. And then


something happens and I just want to turn off the lights, crawl under my comforter and not come out for days. And make nice with Ben & Jerry's.

Tuesday was that day for me.

I know you're probably expecting some elaborate, drawn out story (cuz I'm dramatic like that from time to time) about how I almost got hit by a bus and then found out Hubs was cheating on me.

That's really not it.

Some days I just get out of wack. There's no way to prepare or prevent. It just happens. By and large, Tuesday wasn't extraordinary one way or the other.

It was just a crap day.

The long and short of it is this. I work in an industry where expectations are very high. You have to have the right look, the right words, the right connections. Basically you need to be "on" all the time.

And it gets annoying.

In my travels on Tuesday and Wednesday, I just got effing sick of it. Running around all day and night trying to be what people wanted me to be, trying to please everyone and piss off no one. Trying to be the best at what I do and make it look easy.

Like I said...I know it's anti-climactic. I just had a bad day. And I felt like I would never get through it.

Then, on the three hour drive home yesterday, I had a nice long talk with myself. I decided I needed to lighten up and relax. Everyone has problems and raging battles in their heads. My problem is, I tend to dwell on those problems. I've just got to learn to let them go.

(Hubs thinks I need to make friends with a little man named Xanex.)

I think I just need Miley Cyrus.

I heard this song on the radio last night and was bawling the whole time. It has a wonderful message and it gave me that little boost I needed. I read somewhere that Miley wrote it herself, and I gotta say, I'm impressed.

Little Miss Cyrus has some smarts up in that melon of hers.

So give it a listen; you might just find yourself wiping away a tear or two. And if you don't, listen to "Everybody Hurts" by REM. If that doesn't work, check yourself for a pulse, because you're dead.


Rachel said...

Maybe it just has something to do with this particular week? The moon? Something? I too have had "those" moments especially bad this week and need to "let it out". When I'm not happy AND I am overwhelmed I turn into a holy terror and destroy all things in my path. Especially, those things that are near and dear to me. Poor BF, handles it like a champ...which only annoys me more and makes my crazed reactions only that much more "crazed". Geez, he needs to quit being so dang perfect, it's making me look bad.

We should have a session :) Wine, bitching, wine, crying, wine, ridiculous stories, know the drill.

K said... :)

Anonymous said...

Hey try to relax and breathe. Your job is very high pressure, I know that I would never be able to do your job! Just remember that in 2 weeks you will be in an awesome house in Mexico relaxing!!!! If that doesnt work, I can bring my home spa stuff down this weekend for you!