Friday, February 6, 2009

this is why blogging will bite you in the ass

Okay. This has gotten way out of hand. For shiz.

Therefore, I think I now have to step in and explain some things.

(I have re-written this post about 30 times, so hopefully it will say what it needs to say without further offending anyone.)

I mean, I've been accused of meddling in children's lives and causing family disputes. How can I not respond to that?

First, you guys have some awesome, well thought out and totally solid opinions that you are not afraid to share, and I love that.
I think discussions are good and I appreciate everyone keeping it clean and respecting all those involved.

Secondly, I never ever ever ever ever meant for this morning's post to cause SO much drama. I was simply blowing off steam. I felt like an opportunity had been taken from me without a valid reason and I needed to get my feelings out.

(Because it's my blog and I can do that.)

I did not name names, or even fully explain what had happened because I was attempting to keep the parties involved anonymous. Like I said earlier, I was Just. Venting.

This is the whole point of having a blog.

Obviously it is not so anonymous anymore, and that was not my choice.

Thirdly, I have never claimed that this blog is only about bubbles, unicorns and rainbows. This is a personal accounting of my life; the good the bag and the hotness.

(OOOH, maybe I'll change my blog name to that. I kind of dig it.)

In 90% of my posts, I don't use names. Yes, I may write about other individuals, but I try to keep the focus off of them and on me.

(Except Hubs. Because he's got the thickest skin of anybody I know. And he secretly loves the all the attention.)

So here we go...

My Hallmark entry was a b-day card. It featured a photograph because...well, those were the rules.

I love photography, I take pictures of my friends/food/caterpillars/faucets what have you. And my family is well aware of this.

I went through my 3583498 pictures and narrowed to about 19 I considered entering. An awesome pic of my niece B made the final cut. She made an adorable fishy face that I was lucky enough to capture.

(And, that very picture has been posted on the Internet. On this very blog. Right here. It has been seen by the parent(s) and never complained about even once.)

The caption I selected for the birthday card was clean, funny and cute.

When I submitted the card in the competition, I never expected anything would come of it. I mean, yeah, I'm kind of awesome in my own circle of friends, but competing with thousands of other funny writers? I don't hold a candle.

When I entered this contest, my intentions were to do something cool and make someone SMILE.

Then I got the call that my card was chosen and that I had to get permission from the parents for their child to be on the card. No problemo.

I contacted my whole family, so excited that I nearly forgot how to type. I informed SIL (siter in law) and let her know that I'd be sending a release form to sign so B could be on the card.

My SIL texted me and informed me that she was not comfortable with her daughter's picture on a card for millions of people to see.

My initial reaction was surprise, but I assumed that SIL was worried that the card had dirty content or made fun of her daughter in some way. Which I totally get.

So, I sent SIL a long email showing that the contest was absolutley legit, and that her child's name would not be seen by ANYONE but Hallmark.

I received an email back stating that the problem SIL had with the card was the fact that anyone with money could purchase a picture of her daughter.

Hold the phone.

There's no way that can be true. And here's why.

SIL has:

a) a blog. Blog has picture of daughter and daughter's name on it. Anyone can view this blog. They don't need money. They can print that picture at any time.

b) SIL has a Facebook page. With huge picture of daughter on it. Millions of people can print this picture.

c) I have a blog with SIL's daughter and step-son all over it. Have had this blog for over a year that SIL is well aware of, and have never heard a complaint.


I have to wonder, if the issue is really that people can purchase a picture on a Hallmark card, why is it not an issue that there are free pictures of her everywhere else?

Now, I will say, SIL is probably correct when she stated that I should have asked permission before submitting my card idea. But honestly? The thought just never entered my mind.

In hindsight, I maybe should have wondered if SIL would have a problem with her daughter's picture on a Hallmark card.

So...I have learned my lesson. I am truly sorry if I offended anyone.

The last thing I want is people pissed off at me, family or otherwise. I wasn't being malicious or mean spirited or trying to meddle. My intentions were completely innocent.

(But then, you know what they say about good intentions.)

I will take this moment to again apologize to my SIL (because I already apologized once in a private email) if I stepped on her toes as a mother. It was not my intention in the least. I know someday Baby B will know that, too.

We have a difference of opinion, but it's over. The picture isn't going to be published, and no one can purchase B's face for $3.95.

Like I said in my original post, there will be other opportunities for me to participate in competitions. I will get over it. It isn't the end of the world.

Look, bottom line. I am not a mind reader and I am human. I entered the contest based on what I thought I knew of SIL and her opinions.

I will not apologize for expressing my feelings on this blog, because as I mentioned earlier, that is what this blog is for. The great thing about it is...if you don't like what is being said, don't open the page.

I do it all the time.

On a lighter note, it's Friday! And it's going to be gorgeous this weekend. Get out and enjoy it!


Judith said...

It's so obvious by your eloquent post that you are by far the bigger person in all of this. I applaud you for that, and I know that you're chance at being published one way or another will come again. I hope it's sooner rather than later so that the world can get a glimpse of your enormous talent and your uplifting sense of humor. Love you!

Pam said...

I couldn't agree more with Judith. You are an amazing writer. Your day is coming! : ) Love Ya

kim said...

To everyone who commented today, thank you very much.

A few times today I did wonder if I truly had done something wrong, but I have to say, I think everything just got blown way out of proportion.

My original blog post probably fueled the fire, but I didn't think I would come under personal attack for getting my feelings out, especially since I didn't name names.

I feel like I'm involved in one of those crazy headlines like, "Mom Sues School For Locker Accidentally Hitting Son's Face and Causing Broken Nose." Like, is this for real? Is it worth all the drama? I don't think so.

I just want to let it go and be done with it. Thanks for all of your opinions, on both sides of the story.

Tracy said...

(waving tears away staring at the ceiling - please tell me you are laughing hysterically)...our little Kimmy is growing up...kudos to Judy, you said all. We love you and this is very big of you. Your day will come...have a great weekend!!

Lace said...

Ugh, THAT. SUCKS. I would have assumed the exact same thing. Printing for FREE or buying for $3.95... hrmm. I wonder if her problem was that YOU had the opportunity to make a little money off of a picture of HER child?(well, not for the picture- but you know what I mean)

I'm glad you're able to shake it off so easily... but I'm totally bummed for you.

Onward and upward, my dear!

Erin A. said...

I know no one wants to hear my two cents worth, but I was so floored when I heard about this that I need to vent too.

Kim, I'm so sorry this happened to you. To me it seems as though the mother is either jealous, or has some other reason to take this away from you. If she had a problem with you taking pictures of her family, she should have said something when the pictures were taken. And as you said, it obviously isn't a privacy concern since pictures of the family are posted everywhere.

But oh well, c'est la vie. You are so talented and I'm sure another opportunity is just waiting around the corner.

When BJ and I have kids, you can take as many pictures of them as you want :).

<3, another s-i-l

Anonymous said...

Her blog is now gone and her Facebook are no longer featuring pictures of this child. At least she's taking your advice now.

erin said...

All drama aside, I think the most important lesson is you have some really supportive and caring friends that are willing to stand up for your dreams, which is way cool. No Hallmark card could ever match the awesomeness of that!

Anonymous said...

“Jealousy is the tribute mediocrity pays to genius.” Fulton J. Sheen.

SIL sounds like one of those women who is going to be "wronged" no matter what you do. Her reasoning is completely shoddy. I can just picture this woman trying to "rally the troops" against you in this whole debacle - even going to the lengths of removing her FB profile to prove how "right" she is in this matter.

My guess is she is an unhappy person who enjoys sucking the life out of everything good (Just imagine how her husband feels)- or she was pissed there was money to be made and it wasn't hers to get. Either way, she knows deep inside that she is being completely ridiculous. Unfortunately, people like this are usually never able to deviate from their original stance and admit being wrong. The good news is, you have a great attitude and that will only get you further success in the future.

K - keep holding your head high and shining brightly like you always do.

Adriana said...

I think you do a great job of keeping your posts pretty anonymous sometimes to the point of driving me nuts trying to figure it out (like who broke your heart in high school and who was the BFF you asked to not be in your wedding...and why?!?!) SIL invited the wrath of bloggers when commenting as she did. Either way it will be awkward at the next few family gatherings but I am sure you both will move forward and someday you can laugh as you hand her a release to sign before taking family photo's at xmas.

Steph said...

I just now have caught up w/ all the chaos behind your Hallmark adventure! Had no clue! She really did open up everything herself by commenting in such a fashion. I had NO IDEA what happened that caused you to not be able to participate. Your original blog didn't even HINT at the "why" of it, especially the fact that it was someone else's doing. I respected you enough to not try and get the details out of you. I'm sorry that it happened that way, and that she went and told on herself, which apparently resulted in an utter fiasco. She should have called, emailed you, something more personal instead of telling on herself directly in your comments. I'm glad to see you are obviously the bigger person. You have a right to be upset, and nobody can tell you your own feelings are wrong. Your blog was not wrong in any way, shape, or form. Good things come to those who wait. If you ever want Jacob or Jacquelyn's pictures for anything, just LET ME KNOW!!!! Love you!