I think that how you interact with a pet is a somewhat good indication of how you will be with a small child.
And that's why I'm worried.
Lately, I've been paying attention to some of the things I say to my kitten.
I am beginning to understand why Hubs thinks I'm bonkers.
Here are some of the more psychotic phrases I say to Cupcake on a regular basis:
"Cupcake, why won't you be a kitten? BE A KITTEN, Cupcake!"
-Okay, clearly, he is a kitten. No amount of trickery or wizard sorcery is going to change him into a goat or a snickerdoodle, nor do I want him to be either of those things. But when he doesn't pay attention to me, I find myself telling him to be a kitten. WTF?
"Are you my lover? You are aren't you? You're my baby lover!"
-Why would I ask my CAT if he is my lover? And a baby lover at that? I should only have one lover, yes? I'm sure Hubs is more than willing to step up to the plate on that one. And I doubt he likes me asking my kitten to fill his spot.
"Go and see Papa! He loves you so much! Go, go! Go see PAPA!"
This is how I tell Cupcake to go and hang out with Hubs. Is Hubs gray or carrying around an oxygen tank? No. Did he grow up on with the Ingalls family on "Little House on the Prairie?" Um, negative. SO WHY AM I REFERRING TO HUBS AS PAPA to our cat??? I'll be honest with you, sometimes I even pronounce Papa as "Pah-Pah". Seriously. Like my cat is a cast member in Oliver Twist or some ridiculous shit like that.
"My little loo loo kitty catty is such a good baby lover! You're a little loo loo lover cakes!!"
I'm not even going to touch this one.
"BE MY LOVER, Cupcake! WHY WON'T YOU BE MY LOVER?"
This is very similar to the first and second ridiculousness that I metnioned. But I do it all. the. time. Do I really want my cat to be my lover? No. But I do want him to snuggle with me and let me pet him. It's unbelievable that an animal has so much power over me. God help Hubs and I when we have a baby.
Can you imagine the looks I'll get at Target when I'm asking my 2 month old baby to please be my lover??? Jayzus.