Wednesday, April 8, 2009

my name is kim, please like me

We've talked about this before.

I need to be liked. By everyone. All the time. It's important to me.

Hubs says I have a chronic case of Middle Child Syndrome (If such a thing exists, I'm sure I have it. And probably the worst documented case in history of it.)

(I watch too much Discovery Health. Clearly.)

For whatever reason, I just like to know that people like me. That they enjoy my company and want to know more about me. Despite the ridiculousness of it, I occasionally associate the level of my likeability with Facebook wall comments, Twitter followers and, of course, blog followers and comments.

I started this blog as a way to update family and friends with the goings on of Hubs and our family, but it has turned into its own animal.

Rather than just disussing family picnics and weekend getaways, I've found myself sharing the intimate and quiet details of my life to friends and, occasionally, complete strangers.

I totaly love it.

If I'm loved back.

I "follow" several blogs pretty religiously. They are a part of my morning ritual. Because I am also a blogger, I understand that letting other bloggers know that I read their stuff is important. For those blogs that I really dig, I put in my little blog roll that's over here --------->
and I comment on their writings.

(If you don't know, bloggers get their sense of accomplishment and achievement by knowing people are reading their ramblings and occasionally take the time to comment.)

Generally, it's considered good form to "follow" the blog of any of your regular readers. I make a concerted effort to do this. And I know others do, too.

But something is bothering me.

There is one particular blog that I have been following for quite some time now. I've mentioned the blog (we'll call it Blog X), many times in my own entries and have even referred Blog X to my readers.

However, Blog X's author refuses to "follow" me. Yet she follows almost every reader that I have sent her way.

WTF? Do I smell? Does my blog put people to sleep? Am I incredibly offensive?

I guess more than anything, I feel a little...hurt. Mostly because Blog X has listed over 60 blogs on her site that she "follows". I am not one of them.

Several times I have seen comments on Blog X that say things like, "I found you through Kim's blog!" Two seconds later, the author is following these peoples' blogs.

But still not mine.

Intentional? Maybe not

Still bugging me anyway? Yeah.

Anyways- it all comes back to being liked. For someone to know they are getting readers from me, and to still refuse to return the courtesy? I don't know, it seems kind of...mean.

Yes, Hubs, I am aware of how ridiculous I sound. I'm upset that a person I have never met, nor will ever meet, refuses to click a button on her browser that says "I follow the Antisdel Abstract."

I'm officially over it. I just wanted to get it off my chest.

Now I'm off to blog stalk Blog X some more...


Adriana said...

I like your new background and I get what you mean about followers.

Up Rooted said...

Its ok nobody comments on my blog but that's ok cuz sometimes I don't respond right away. I will say that I do read your blog but I only just added it to follow.

Anonymous said...

If someone doesn't get to know you, or like you, that is their loss. Everyone that reads you blog has realized that you are a witty and very talented writer. If I had guessed right about who the person is, maybe they are jealous of your blog and your writing style! Just remember to keep your head up and that anyone who doesn't follow your blog on a daily basis is missing out on some great stories and insights into themselves and life

alissa said...

isnt it weird how we start these for ourselves (at least i did) and actually for the first year i never really cared if anyone commented etc. then it morphed into this thing i need validation for or something. i get what you mean -its just polite

alissa said...

hey - also i saw you're reading the shopaholic book.
did you see that movie? i was kind of bummed by it - i dont know what i expected...but that wasnt it


get it off your chest dear...just get it off... Not to worry I'd give you validation! Now go & do the same to moi! ~XO*

Kellie said...

Do you think it's a case of middle child syndrome of just a case of midwest syndrome? I think I'm exactly like you! I started my blog as a way to update friends/family when we moved up north but it's taken on a life of it's own! :) And try not to take it to heart (although I know it's hard not to) b/c they probably don't even realize they are doing it!

Smalls said...

Awww, I like you :P

Kim said...

I have the same chronic need to be liked/loved.

It can be destructive, but on the same hand, it means you're a considerate person who cares what people think. That is a good thing.

Anonymous said...

I check your blog so often and I'm always disappointed when you haven't done an update.

But I know what you mean too. I send out my updates about Hannah and my life to my family and when hardly anyone responds or acts like they have taken the time to read bothers me. Then I think I won't send it to people who, obviously aren't interested.......but then I mostly do anyway - the next time. Aunt Joy

Kristy said...

Hey! I found you through Tova's TAT post. You are so funny!!
I totally agree with you about the blog comments and followers. I had people that began commenting and following (and I did theirs) and soon they jumped to 100-something followers, when I only have like 40! =( I even went around commenting and following a LOT of blogs and only got about 2 new followers. Bummer. I don't know why I care that much! Ha ha!!