Dear Semi-Large Tornado:
Thank you for missing our house on Saturday.
Considering our uninsured $10,000 musical instrument sitting in the basement and an uninsured wedding ring on my finger, I very much appreciate your absence in our front lawn.
And your kindness in not ripping my ring finger off.
As for the houses that you did destroy- that wasn't very nice. Shouldn't you have aimed for something that could use a little destruction?
Like, I don't know...
Maybe the Kansas Speedway and all the Nascar crap that makes our house IMPOSSIBLE TO GET TO because of the crazy ridiculous fans that drink all day long and clog the streets with their gigantic white-trash mobiles and mullets?
I'm just spitballing, here.
(Seriously though. The Speedway. Just mess it up a little. Don't kill anyone. Just knock a few brains loose. They'll be okay.)
(Whatever, defensives. You would hate Nascar fans too if you had them in your backyard for the ENTIRE WEEKEND.)
Anyways, Semi-Large Tornado, thanks again. I'd appreciate you staying far, far away from our house indefinitely.
Because honestly? If our basement is destroyed before Hubs even has a chance to finish it, I fear he might lose his mind.
And become a Nascar fan to pass his time rather than finishing the basement.
I just can't have that.