this is how we do it

Several days ago, Hubs decided he was tired of watching me mope. In an effort to pull me out of my funk, he sent me this article.

In summary, it covers how to bounce back when you find yourself bounced out of your job. I found it very helpful, insightful and inspirational. What to do when your job goes missing? Perfect.

I'm here to tell you what not to do.

From experience.

Here we go...

Kim's List of Things NOT To Do When You Lose Your Job

1. DO NOT: Ask your refrigerator for advice

Being unemployed allots you time. Bunches of it. Time which can easily be filled with Bon Bon's, Dr. Pepper, nachos, burritos, Hot Pockets and the occasional triple meat pizza. However, turning to your refrigerator for comfort will ultimately leave you up a creek when it comes time for interviews. Your "Damn I'm Hot" interview pants will turn into, "Damn I Look Like a Baby Walrus Wrapped in a Rubber Band" interview pants.

No bueno.

2. DO NOT: Turn on the television until at least 3:00 pm

Daytime television will suck you in with promises of exciting soap opera tragedies and amazing weekday movies. But inevitably, the daytime selections will hold you hostage on your couch until your Hubs comes home from a long day at the office to find you in your dinosaur pajamas with three empty pints of Ben and Jerry's on the floor (see #1).

Lifetime Television is especially dangerous. Meredith Baxter is re-employment kryptonite.

Television from 3:00 on is fine.

(Because I love Ellen. And Oprah. And sometimes they have segments on getting hired. So it's okay.)

3. DO NOT: Look at emails/documents/materials from your past job.

At least for awhile. Seriously, it's the emotional equivalent of looking at old pictures of you and your boyfriend right after a break-up. The wounds are still too fresh. Stay away from those things that remind you of happier days until you've had time to adjust. (Unless you need to do something like look up insurance info or something. Then you can let it slide.)

4. DO NOT: Watch any movies that portray your dream job.

Again, at least not immediately. For instance, the day I was laid off, I decided to watch Sex and The City: The Movie.

Big mistake.

Watching Carrie Bradshaw parade around in Manolo's while boasting an amazing writing career left me looking up "How to Tie A Noose" articles on-line.

There's nothing wrong with focusing on what you want to do next. But watching someone else (especially a fictional someone else) that already has everything you want is downright depressing.

5. DO NOT: Think about what you're missing out on

This is a tough one for me. If you hated your job to begin with, looking back at your ex-employer might be the motivation you need to move onward and upward. But if you truly loved your job like I did, thinking about the good times is effing awful.

I want nothing more than to pick up right where I left off and keep on working. But I can't. Sitting around and thinking about the fun I'm no longer having is the hardest thing NOT to do.

But I'm trying.

I find that I'm keeping busy by continuously scouting job web-sites and applying for everything I see.

While possibly watching Sex and the City" the Movie.

And maybe eating Bon Bon's.

And occasionally checking out "My Husband's Double Life" on Lifetime.

And sometimes looking at emails from my past clientele.

Hey people, I just give out the advice. I never said I follow it.