Time: Approximately 2 months ago, Sunday night.
Setting: Hubs and me in the living room. Cozy. Slices of pizza in our laps. Smiles on our faces. Pittsburg Steelers preparing to play some team I don't know on the television. Faith Hill dancing like a moron in the intro.
Me: (absorbing grease on my pizza with several napkins) I'm excited for this game!
Brad: That's just because you think Mike Tomlin is hot.
Me: (jumping on the sofa a little bit) I KNOW. He is hot in that really calm, nothing-can-ever-bother me way. It's so attractive.
Hubs: (rolling eyes) If I said that about some woman, you'd kill me.
Me: (staring at Hubs blankly) But you know I don't mean it when I say it.
Hubs: Oh, but I do?
Me: (snorting) Duh. Men always mean what they say, but they say it all jokingly about it so they can say it and get away with it.
Hubs: And you never do that.
Me: (shocked) NEVER.
Hubs: (smirking) So you expect me to believe that when you jokingly say you think Ryan Reynolds is sex on a stick, you don't really mean that.
Me: (baffled) I've never said that to you!
Hubs: No, but you've said it to other people.
Me: Well you weren't supposed to hear it.
Hubs: (rolling eyes) Whatever.
Me: (switching back to watching television) Ooh, you know who else is kind of cute in a weird way?
Hubs: (watching Faith Hill shake her leather-clad booty all over the screen) Mmm.
Me: Troy Balmahalo
Hubs: You mean Troy Polamalu?
Me: (nodding) Yeah, him. The Head 'N Shoulders commercial guy with the long hair. He'd look hotter if he cut his hair off.
Hubs: His hair is part of his culture, babe.
Me: Oh right. Cuz isn't he Honolulan?
Hubs: (stopping mid-bite of his pizza) Isn't he what?
Me: Hon...o...lu...lan. Like from Honolulu.
Hubs: He's from Hawaii...which would make him Hawaiian.
Me: (reminding myself to fully think things through in the future) Boy, that Faith Hill is really hot, huh?