(But aren't those the best kind?)
This weekend I'm going to Green Bay, WI for work.
(And by "work", I mean my company is taking me there to booze and shmooze clients and make them like me so they buy more of my company's stuff.)
(If you're a client reading this and would like to partake in a similar adventure, you definitely can. See me for details.)
While in Green Bay, I will be embarking on the following adventures:
- Packers pre-season game in "the special seats" (aka The Box)
- Attend the PGA Tournament on Sunday(booyah)
- Eat my weight in Wisconsin Cheese
- Take a factory tour of my company with my clients (this being the part where they love everything and use it all the time)
That being said, it should surprise no one that I did not begin to pack a single thing for Green Bay until this morning. When the first moments of panic began to set in, I thought to myself, "How hard can this be? I need football stuff for Saturday, golf stuff for Sunday, and dress clothes for Monday. Easy."
First of all, I do not own anything related to the Green Bay Packers. Not even a cheese head. My sports wardrobe consists of old KU t-shirts, Iowa State hoodies (thanks Hubs) and a large amount of Chicago Bears paraphernalia. No Packers gear.
In addition, when it comes to dressing for a golf event, I'm like a gay man attending a hunting show. Totally clueless.
Me: (standing in front of Hubs as he watches morning sports programs) WHAT am I going to wear to this Packers game? Hubs, help me!
Hubs: (trying to look around me) Just wear something green. I have that green v-neck t-shirt you can wear.
Me: (gasps) I am NOT going to wear a MAN'S shirt at a work event, Hubs. It'll be huge on me and unflattering!
Hubs: (comping on his banana) Babe, that green shirt of mine from Target is actually pretty small. And it's uni-sex.
Me: (rolling my eyes) Target does not sell UNI-SEX clothing, Hubs. UGH! I'll just go to the store and find a green shirt, I guess.
Hubs: Great. We also need kitty litter.
Me: (looking at television sports show) Okay, but hat should I wear to the PGA tournament? Should I buy a plaid dress and a big hat like at those derby races?
Hubs: Ha! Um, no. Just wear something comfortable.
Me: Like jeans?
Hubs: (shaking head) No, don't wear jeans.
Me: (exasperated) But I'm most comfortable in jeans! (Pointing to the television) Change the channel to the PGA tournament and I'll just look at what those people are wearing.
Hubs: (clicking through channels) It's not on right now, the game was delayed because of fog.
Me: (screaming) THERE'S GOING TO BE FOG at the PGA Tournament? (Slapping thigh) Well, there goes my hair for Sunday.
In the end, I went to Target. (For the record, there are no uni-sex t-shirts offered anywhere in that store.) I found a green tank top for $10 that will probably work for the Packers game.
(Rachel Zoe would never be caught dead in it, but then again, she'd never got to a football game, either.)
All was good until I came home...and found myself typing "Green Bay Packer's Women's t-shirt" into Google.
Bloggies, the ADORABLE t-shirts I found for Packer's fans...it's just unfair. Green ones, yellow ones, black ones, grey ones, long sleeve, short sleeve, 3/4 sleeve, tank tops. It was never ending.
Then I went a little bananas.
I ended up with three different Packers t-shirts in my online cart at $29.99 each. Oh, and an additional $25.00 to receive them by 10:00 tomorrow morning.
Crazy? Yes. Unnecessary? Probably.
But isn't this what women do? We obsess over what to wear to certain events until it drives us to the point of insanity. Think about any event where you didn't know what to wear. Isn't it easier to just buy something new?
And just like any other crazy woman, I found myself rationalizing the purchase of the shirts.
- I could wear these again. I mean, Kansas City people don't HATE the Packers, so I wouldn't be ex-communicated or anything.
- Perhaps I could be a Packers fan for Halloween??
- Maybe I could wear them, but leave the tags on and then return to the internet store? (My sweating problem eliminated this option.)
- I could sell the shirts after the game on Craigslist??
As for the PGA tournament, I'm opting for simple capri's and a nice top.
Just in case, I may or may not have asked my boss if I can quickly run to the mall in Green Bay before Sunday's tournament.
After all, it's quite possible that if I look good enough, I may catch a Tiger by his toe...
(That was a joke, Hubs. I only want you.)