Monday, December 27, 2010

Christmas makes for some really great eavesdropping

Location:  A crowded Panera on Christmas Eve-Eve.

Mom: Honey, stand still, please.


Young Daughter: MOMMY!!!! I don't want to stand here.  Is hot and cold!


Mom: I know, honey.  It's hot in here, and when the door opens it gets cold. We'll move in just a second when the line moves.


Young Daugher: There's no line at McDonalds.

***

Location: The mall bathroom in Iowa. 

Mom: Honey, STOP IT! Leave the toilet paper alone while Mommy goes potty.


Toddler Daughter: NOOOOOO! I want...I want...(glurb)...(huff and puff)...ice cream.


Mom: No, we're not having ice cream.


Toddler Daughter: WAHHHHHHH!!!!!


Mom:  (voice spiraling into desperation) DO YOU WANT SANTA TO SKIP OUR HOUSE? Because he will, Haley.  He will skip right over it and I won't stop him.

***

Location: In the check-out line at Target. Two teenage girls behind me.

Girl 1: Shit, was this watch $40 or $50?


Girl 2: Um, I think $40.  


Girl 1:  Is that too cheap?


Girl 2: I dunno.  What's he getting you?

Girl 1: (sighs) I don't know.  I told him I wanted an iPod.

Girl 2: Can he afford that, though?  


Girl 1:  Probably not.  I can't really afford to get this, either though. 

Girl 2: Then don't get it.  You already got him the Blue Ray player.

Girl 1: Now it's fine, I'm putting it on my Target card.


Me: (slamming head into magazine rack) 

***

Location: Sports store trying to exchange a gift for Hubs that was the wrong size....on the day after Christmas.

Me: (placing bag on the counter) Hi, I need to exchange this sweatshirt.  It's the wrong size. I have a gift receipt.


Sales Girl: Okay.


Me:  (laughing) The thing is, I have three different gift receipts for the same sweatshirt, and I don't know which one goes with this sweatshirt.


Sales Girl:  (not amused) What?


Me:  Okay, um,(considering drawing a picture) three of us all got this same sweatshirt for Christmas.  I only need to exchange one, but I have three different gift receipts.  See? (holding up all three gift receipts) I don't know which gift receipts goes with this sweatshirt. Can you figure that out?


Sales Girl: Okay. (typing...scanning...scowling...typing....scanning...scowling...typing...scanning...scowling) None of these gift receipt is right.


Me: That's impossible.  These are the only gift receipts I have.  Can you try again?


Sales Girl: No, I already tried.


Me: (shifting my weight from foot to foot) Well, does it really matter anyway?  I have the tags on the sweatshirt still.  Can't I just do the exchange for the right size?


Sales Girl: Oh.  Yeah, that's true.


Me: (shrugging shoulders) It's okay, I probably made it more complicated than it needed to be.


Sales Girl: So, wait.  Do you need a gift receipt for this, then?


***


Hope you all had a very Merry Christmas and have a wonderful New Year's!



 



3 comments:

P said...

Haley's mum is nasty!!!!

Tracy said...

Haley's mom sounds like something Di Di would have said back in the day!! Santa's visit will be removed from the calendar!!

Emily said...

How about this one?
Location: Shoe store.
Characters: Sarah and a female sales associate.

Sarah: Could I please buy this pair of shoes in a size 11?

Sales Associate: Yes, but they tend to stretch. I recommend you buy a half size smaller.

Sarah: OK, then could I please buy a 10.5?

Sales Associate: Oh, I’m sorry…these shoes don’t come in half sizes!!