This year I decided instead of resolutions, I would simply make suggestions for myself. With suggestions, I don't feel like a miserable nincompoop *if* (aka *when*) I don't live up to them.
(I figure, I can't possibly be alone in this. Feel free to share your
Here's my list for the new year:
Kim's 2011 Suggestions For Herself
1) I Suggest You Not Turn 30: Okay, I don't actually have control over this. 30 is going happen whether I like it or not. So let's rephrase and make it this instead:
1) I Suggest You Deny That You've Turned 30: This isn't going to work either. I've already told too many people. Let's try this:
1) I Suggest You Graciously Accept That Turning 30 Can Be a Good Thing and Hold Your Head High With Dignity: God, I'm really striking out here. How about...
1) I Suggest You Cry Like a Crazed Justin Beiber Fan, Show Everyone Your Wrinkles, and Have a Nervous Breakdown When You Turn 30: Easy enough.
2) I Suggest You Re-evaluate the Relationships in Your Life:
This is doable. And probably necessary. Have you ever noticed that some relationships in your life (friends, relatives, work colleagues, etc) have been around a little too long? It's not that they're bad, but maybe they've run their course.
I have a really hard time with this. I like to think that every relationship I've ever had is worth saving and clinging onto for dear life just because I hate the idea of saying good-bye. But over the last year, I've noticed that some of the people I used to truly love, respect and appreciate are starting to love, respect and appreciate me just a little less.
Hubs always says, "You need to look at your friendships from a Return on Investment (ROI) standpoint."
(Hubs isn't even finance-y, but when he talks like Bill Rancic, I get all excited.)
(And then I like to imagine I look like Giuliana Rancic.)
Anyways, Hubs says, "If you're putting in all the effort, but aren't getting anything back out, it isn't worth the time and energy."
The man has a point.
I guess I've always subscribed to the notion that the more people in your life, the better off you are. Seems logical. In reality, if the peeps you're investing time, energy, money or emotions into aren't giving it back, then you're just kind of...pathetic?
I mean, think of it this way. If your refrigerator blitzes and the repairman tells you it's kaput, you don't go to the ATM and throw a bunch of money at it. YOU GO GET THE NEW WOLF PRO 48 GLASS DOOR FRIDGE...
The point is, if I'm holding onto friendships that have gone stale, I'm preventing new ones that could potentially be even better.
(Like my potential BFF-ness with Giuliana Rancic.)
Another other thing I need to re-evaluate this year are the people whose opinions I choose to worry about.
(I've mentioned before that I'm a certified Needer-of-Love.)
(Hubs calls it "Insecurity" or something ridiculous like that.)
Basically, I like to be liked. It bothers me when I'm not. I'm fun, I'm outgoing, I'm only sometimes incredibly annoying. What's not to like? But the truth is, it's inevitable that not everyone is going to like me. It's just the way it is. And if I plan on having any semblance of sanity as I progress in years, I'm going to have to learn to deal with it. So...
I need to make sure that I'm truly only concerned with the opinions of people who are important in my life. Hubs, my family, my close friends. Random people on Facebook/Twitter/This Blog who may or may not think I'm the spawn of Satan shouldn't affect my day to day life or how I feel about myself. If I'm okay with the people I love, then I'm doing pretty good. So. There.
3) I Suggest if Someone Doesn't Like You, You Kidnap Them, Tie Them to a Chair, and Demand to Know Why: Ummmm....no. Let's try again.
3) I Suggest You Accept That Not Everyone Can Like/Love/Adore You All the Time. And That Is Okay: I can live with this. I think.
4) I Suggest You Cut Dr. Pepper Out of Your Diet: And I suggest you kiss my sugary soda-lovin' ass. (Fine, how about this? I'll cut back to only once a week. Maybe twice.)
Update: Since this post, I have gone over 2 weeks without the liquid satan otherwise known as Dr. Pepper. It can be done!
5) I Suggest You Make This the Year You're Finally 100% Comfortable With Yourself: This is a tall order, but I do promise to try. I heard it doesn't truly happen until you're in your 40's. Or until you watch enough Oprah.
6) I Suggest You Quit Laying Around and Finish Your Novel Already: Fine, fine, fine! It'd be a lot easier if I could figure out the ending. And step away from this blog for five minutes. And get a job that lets me stay home and write all day. And, ya know, have a guarantee that it will be published.
No excuses, I'll get it done.
7) I Suggest You Love Hubs and Your Step-Daughters With Every Ounce of Yourself, and Let Them Love You Back: Done and done.
Happy New Year, bloggies ! I'll see you in 2011!