Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Open Letter Wednesday

Dear Cheesecake Factory in Overland Park, Kansas:

Your heating and air conditioning requires maintenance. I get it. You'd have unhappy customers if you let them sit in sweltering heat while enjoying their $17 salads. It's important to keep your guests comfortable. That being said...


I mean, really. That's almost as bad as parking in a handicapped space. Well, no, it's actually not.

But still.

When someone such as myself orders $148 worth of food to go, the last thing we want to do in our 4" heels and somewhat-tight-pants-because-we-haven't-been-working-out-enough-and-we've-been-eating-too-much-Cheesecake-Factory is walk from the BACK OF THE RESTAURANT to go inside and get the five bags of food that we ordered for our clients, and then drag those five bags of food back out to the parking space that's 4934893483 feet away.

(And yes, I realize how "first world problems" this sounds.)

I think what annoyed me the most is when I informed the To Go lady of the big gigantic, ugly vans taking up the reserved spots, the manager was STANDING RIGHT THERE and said nothing. Even worse was when I called and talked to the manager later and he replied with, "Oh, I'll have to check on that situation." What is there to check on? Just tell the peeps to move their cars. Simple. Easy.

Also, Mr, Manager, when I drive by two hours later and the maintenance vans are still blocking the spots...I kind of want to set the building on fire...

Love and Smooches,
Someone Who Used to Order From Cheesecake Factory Twice a Month and Who Will Now Be Going Elsewhere (Until my craving for cheesecake becomes unbearable).

Dear Tootsie,

I love you, little lady. You're the cutest little dachshund to ever lick my face off. But your Daddy is about to snap. You've got to calm down the barking at every. single. thing. that goes by our house. I realize that maple leaf blowing by the window is a potential threat to you, but it's just foilage. Not a four alarm house fire.

And I know it's weird when the neighbors jump on that rubber thing that flies them up in the air. It's just a trampoline, not a torture device. We're good. You're safe. I appreciate your enthusiasm, but knock it down a few notches, before Daddy knocks you across the room.

All my love, Pumpkin.